How am I raising a teenager already?

Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. Are all 5 year old girls really 16 in their brains? I am SO in for it when she's an actual teenager. Let's review:


-16 year old attitude? Check. "Mom, you are SO mean! Howcome you get to do whatever you want and I don't get to do ANYTHING?! (sob sob sob)"


-16 year old mannerisms? Check. Eye rolling, dirty looks, hands on hips, sighs of contempt.


-16 year old phone tendencies? Check. Most nights, she will bring me the phone and ask me to dial Grandma Debbie's phone number in Florida. Last night, she disappeared into her room with the phone for over half an hour. Who knows what they talk about, but she's hilarious while she's doing it. She talks about "your land" when she talks about Florida, and "my land" when she talks about home. They've also made plans to do all her homework together while daddy and I get to "relax".